


Autumn Oasis

by ButterflyArrows



Category: Nomad of Nowhere (Web Series)
Genre: And angst, Multi, There's pumpkins, Y'know the fall mood, and gays
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-22
Updated: 2018-10-22
Packaged: 2019-08-05 17:04:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16371629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ButterflyArrows/pseuds/ButterflyArrows
Summary: It all really started with blackmail, which was started from the romance, Jethro, Santi, and Null shared. That spiralled into a drunken plot to steal a few pumpkins, which in turn caused each of them to realize exactly what their relationship means to themselves and to each other.





	1. The Beginning

In retrospect, stealing pumpkins from Farmer Junito’s fields was not a bright idea. Seemed like one at the time, the night before said pumpkin stealing adventure. Some would say it was Jethro’s fault for “volunteering” the trio’s services on Monday, which should have been their day off. It could be argued that the blame was on Null, for stealing a small collection of beer from the team down their hall. Most experts on this matter would blame the pumpkin adventure on Santi, the man who suggested the plan. 

They all were looking forward to their Monday off, as it was their scheduled day of rest for the week. Many ideas of cuddles, sleep, band rehearsal, and wearing clothes other than their uniforms, were shared on Sunday night, over dinner. 

“I would sure love it I could be in the middle this time,” Jethro whispered to his partners, making sure he spoke quietly. “Null always gets to be in the middle.”

With a supportive pat on Null’s hand, Santi leaned in and said to the group, “He needs the support, Jethro, he has suppressed emotional issues.” 

Pulling his hand away, Null sighed, rolled his eyes, and then ate some bread. “The real question is how I haven’t lost my mind by being with you two idiots all the time. I’m going to take a long and solitary walk tomorrow and there’s nothing you can do to stop me.” 

As Santi and Null began arguing with each other-there was a slightly playful tone to it- Jethro happened to look over the dining room. As usual, the room was full of various other Dandy Lions, who were eating their evening meal before their nightly duties. Most of them were eating in their patrol groups, but a few ate alone. One of them, a man named Georgio, caught Jethro’s gaze and waved him over. “’Cuse me,” Jethro said to his partners, who were still engaged with their disagreements. 

Crossing the room, Jethro sat beside Georgio and started to say hello. Georgio promptly slapped a hand over his mouth and shushed him. “You better hush up,” Georgio hissed, his dark eyes darting around the room. “I need a favour, and you’re going to give it to me. Got it?” 

There was nothing Jethro could do besides nod. 

“Good,” Gerogio said, removing his hand. “I need you and the other two bumbling idiots on your squad to take over my security duty tomorrow morning.” 

“What? No, that’s our day off-“ Jethro started to complain, but found Georgio's hand covering his mouth once again. Borrowing a move from Null, he rolled his eyes. Georgio was always dramatic, but now he was just being absurd. 

“You will do this, or I’ll blab to the Don about your team’s little romantic escapades.” Keeping his voice low, Georgio’s eyes sparkled. “I’m sure he’ll be shock- why are you laughing.” 

Pushing Georgio’s hand away, Jethro snorted before explaining. “Sorry, you think the Don would care? Now, that’s the most hilarious thing I heard all day, and that includes when Null squealed like a pig overseeing a desert spider on his pillow.” Georgio still looked doubtful, so Jethro decided to elaborate. 

“See, Null was bit by a spider when he little so now whenever he sees one-“ Jethro stopped when he noticed Georgio’s dirty look. “Oh, the other thing. Yeah, haven’t you heard about the Don and his tailor?” 

Slamming his fist on the table, Georgio got extremely close to Jethro’s face. “Let me tell you something,” His voice low and slightly growly, he clasped Jethro’s shoulder. Sharply. “You will do this for me. There is bound to be someone here that would not approve of you three and your, honestly, sick personal lives. Do I make myself clear.”

Not trusting his voice to work, and not wanting to take the chance of a squeak, Jethro nodded. Even when the hand on his shoulder released, he still remained tense. Georgio went back to his dinner. “So…that’s it?” Jethro asked, voice squeaking now. “You’re just gonna blackmail me into taking your shift?”

Georgio thought it over and then shrugged. “Yeah, basically. Better break the news to your pathetic consorts. And if you tell em about my little reasoning, you’ll be missing another tooth.” He jutted his chin over Jethro’s shoulder, who then turned. Sure enough, Null and Santi were finished with dinner and were coming over. 

With a sigh, Jethro pushed his chair back and stood. Forcing a smile, he waved to his partners and quickly walked over to them. “Hey guys,” He greeted them, wringing his hands nervously. “So, uh, remember our day off tomorrow?” 

“Yeah, the one that I’ve been looking forward to since our last day off?” Null narrowed his eyes. “Jethro, what did you do this time?” 

“Wellll, there’s good news and some…bad news.” Jethro winced, pulling at his necktie. “The good news, we have the whole afternoon and evenin’ to snuggle and sleep and eat and practice our instruments and-“ 

“Jethro,” Santi warned, taking a step closer.”What will we be doing in the morning?” 

“Showing off our great sense of teamwork with our fellow…” He gave up trying to justify it. “Georgio asked us to cover his morning shift. I said we’ll do it.” As per their usual behaviours, Santi exploded with protests, and Null just looked slightly betrayed as he kept silent. Jethro felt terrible. This was his first relationship, with _two_ beautiful men no less, and here he was, screwing everything up. 

“I’m sorry,” He said finally, in a quiet voice. “I…I should go.” Pushing between his two lovers, Jethro marched away from the dining hall. He kept going, into a courtyard, feeling the warm setting sun on his face. Looking around, Jethro spotted the stables in the near distance. Feeling slightly better with a location in mind, he set off. He nodded to the stable hand that was keeping watch outside. She was the only one in the stables, besides the horses of course. Her superiors were probably getting dinner. 

Jethro found what he thought of as his horse. “Hey, Jessie,” He said, giving the mare a soft pat. “How’re you doing?” The hand probably thought his one-sided conversation was inane. Or maybe not. Animals had a calming influence after all. 

Jethro noticed a bag of oats on the floor. Peeling off a glove, Jethro reached into the bag and spread some oats over his palm. He fed Jessie, and of course, his thoughts wandered back to Georgio’s ‘deal’. “What’s his problem with us? Why did he pick me to taunt? How did he find out about us? Does everyone know? Why does someone so evil get to look so dang pretty?” While he was engaging with these pressing matters, he absently kept feeding Jessie handful after handful of oats. He did this, for quite a while, before he was interrupted.

“Oi! What do you think you’re doin’?” 

Jethro was startled by the loud, sudden, and angry voice. Spinning on his heel to locate the voice of said voice, he accidentally sprayed oats on the stable hand. “Are you tryin to kill our horses?” She asked, even more angry, as she wiped oats off her shoulders. “You’re gonna make her fat with all those oats. That’s way too many oats! It’s gonna take days to get her back onto her regular feedin schedule now.

With a groan of embarrassment, a hasty apology to both the hand and Jessie, and a pat to the latter, Jethro slipped out of the stables. By then the sun had set, revealing a twinkling twilight. He put his glove back on, sighed, kicked at the ground a little, and realized he had to go back to his room. He trudged the familiar path back to the little building which housed a fair number of Dandy Lion groups, and individual members. 

Jethro, Null, and Santi were assigned a room together, ages ago, before they even knew each other. After some squabbles, they gradually got used to each other, and one day, they sat down and had an awkward conversation about their feelings about each other. None of them can describe why they feel the way they do about each other, and none of them doesn’t really care to try. They all love each other in different ways and liked to cuddle and kiss one another, and maybe one day they would try something more sexual. Not many people know about their relationship, or at least, they didn’t tell many people about it. Toth knew, and therefore, so did Skout. All five of them kind of developed a mutual respect for each other. 

With a deep breath, Jethro slid open the door to their little room. He released a sigh of relief when he found it empty of his comrades. They probably were still at the dining hall, or maybe they were with some other friends. Whatever the reason, Jethro was grateful for their absence. He slipped out of his uniform, stripping down to his loose undergarments. Folding his clothes beside his boots, Jethro surveyed the room. 

Their small table was looking a little messy, and so was their shared desk. Kneeling on one of the pillows by the table, Jethro gathered up papers and the like. He grimaced as he saw a dried ink stain that spread across the surface, and tried to scrape it off with his nails. A hard task, given that his nails were considerably short. Farming kids didn’t need long nails, and the habit stuck with him. Null could get it off, probably, he had nails like talons. Thinking about his Null made his stomach flip over in discomforting nerves. Jethro had to work hard for the trust of both Null and Santi, and if Georgio just ruined all of that because of one stupid shift…it would not end well for Georgio. 

As he knelt there, still looking at that ink stain, Jethro heard the door open. He didn’t turn to see who it was, just bit his lip and stared at the ink stain. Of course, he knew who they were. When you live with and love people for a while, you can figure out their footsteps and their habits. Soon enough, both Santi and Null, stripped down to their own undergarments, were sitting by him. 

Jethro’s hands were shaking slightly on the table, and he was nervous about what could happen next. He hated being yelled at, hated it ever since he was little. He was slow and an idiot and he deserved to get called out for it and he just wished they could get on with i-

He looked up with a start when he felt his hands get grasped. Santi and Null were each holding one, Santi squeezing it gently, Null rubbing small circles into it. They were silent until Jethro found the courage to try and speak. “I don’t understand.” He said his words flatly, trying to figure out the situation. “You should be mad at me.” 

“If it makes you feel any better, we totally were when you first left,” Null offered. 

Santi nodded, and added in his own two cents, “We thought something was wrong so we ah, had a little chat with Georigo. Null has a very good threatening tone.” 

“Damn right I do. I got him to talk after a while, so now we know what’s up with that bullshit blackmailing bastard.” 

“Nice alliteration. Anyway, we still have to cover for him, but we made it clear that he shouldn’t try and blackmail us again. We sorted all that out.” Santi scooted his cushion closer to Jethro so he could nuzzle his partner’s shoulder. Not one to be outdone, Null did the same. 

Jethro couldn’t think of the words at first, so he just enjoyed the affection he got. “Thanks,” He said finally. “I didn’t want to make y’all mad but then he was just so scary, and I couldn’t think of anything to do, and so I just…panicked a little. Sorry about that.” 

“Mmm, think we should forgive him, Null?” Santi teased gently. Once it was established that all was forgiving, they got ready for bed, thanks to their early start in the morning.  
Once their blanket nest on the floor was all sorted out and their pillows were like fluffy clouds, Jethro started to settle in his usual position on the left side, when Santi nudged him into the middle spot. Jethro started to protest when he realized what was happening. Sure enough, after he blew out their lantern, Null settled in on the right side. Jethro was in the middle of their cuddle set up. 

He rested on his back for a while, just enjoying the comfort of having his two favourite people in the world on either side of him. “We love you, Jet,” Santi whispered before pressing his lips against Jethro’s cheek. Null did the same on the other side. Before long they were kissing and cuddling and just expressing their love for each other. When Jethro finally fell asleep, his heart was warm and full.


	2. The Pumpkin Plot

Mornings were always awful, but they were even worse when you had to wake up on a day when you didn’t have to. Still, the three resumed their regular morning routines. First one up was Null, who always dressed quickly to set out for his early morning walk. He said that he needed a half hour to himself to recharge before diving into another day with a team of extroverts. Next up was Santi, who thought it was his job to get everyone a proper breakfast. Jethro was the last one up, although he was the only one that woke up at the time they were expected to wake up; the other two just like being early to everything. 

They had a nice time, with their quiet mornings, and today wasn’t an exception. By the time Jethro rolled off the blankets onto the floor and started to get ready, Santi was almost done with their breakfast and Null was just coming in from his walk. He sat by the table and tied his hair back as Santi finished preparing their breakfast. Jethro joined them at the table, only wearing the bottom half of his uniform. Eating with gloves was something that they avoided whenever able, and Jethro was known to somehow get food all down his front. They made quiet conversation; little bits of gossip they heard about their co-workers, the weather, what they planned to do that night. After they eat, they just lingered around their room until it was time to go. Jethro finished getting dressed, Santi organized the papers in their desk, and Null did his best to pick off the table’s ink stain. Then, after about fifteen minutes, they headed out for their unexpected mission.

They called it a mission, but really they just had to patrol various areas within a certain district and then fill out a report stating what they saw. It was a real pain in the ass, but it wasn’t all that difficult. At this hour most people are quiet, not doing tons of crime. The worst thing they saw, besides the poverty the county was facing, was a scrappy kid stealing a pie from a windowsill. Took a while to chase them down, but they did give the pie back…well, half of it. Still counted as a success. Another highlight was when they found a wailing baby in the middle of the street, who only liked to be held by Null. Null, who apparently had a secret affectionate side when it came to babies. Luckily, they found the baby’s frantic father just about when their shift ended. 

“Well, if we ever have to raise a baby, at least Null here likes em’.” Jethro joked as they headed back to their room, to start up their report. 

Null whacked him, and Santi who was laughing, on the shoulders. “Shuddup.” His voice was back to its usual level of disinterest, a far cry from his gentle baby talk. “I just had a lot of babies in the family when I grew up. Stuck with me or somethin’.” 

They kept up the gentle teasing until they reached their floor. “You guys start the report. I…will be back in a bit,” Cryptic as ever, Null disappeared around the corner, leaving Santi and Jethro not only to do the report by themselves but also wonder what stunt Null was planning to pull. 

By the time they finished writing up the few events of the day, Null still wasn’t back. They spent a while getting comfortable for their now free day, changing into comfier clothes, and tuning their instruments. As they were warming up, Null finally came back, three bottles in his arms. He put them on the table and closed their door firmly. “Guess what I snagged?” He smirked, tossing a bottle to Santi, who caught it with ease.

“Oh, you’re a naughty boy, you are,” Santi teased, studying the clarity of the beer he held. “Where did you get this?” 

“Let’s just say that Ramizero may or may not have a secret brewing business on the side. Stole this from under his nose.” Easing himself onto the floor, Null beckoned his partners over. Together they cracked open their bottles and toasted themselves for a job well done. Their paperwork was finished, and it was only noon. 

Jethro sipped at his beer, coughing slightly. He wasn’t used to alcohol, especially not something so strong. He had sweet wine before, his mother used to make it for birthdays, but this was a little much for him. Santi and Null, on the other hand, were perfectly fine with the beverage and were a little tipsy. Not too much to be an issue, but just enough to be a tad bit silly. Hence, the pumpkin plot was hatched. 

They were collapsed on their bedding now, Santi and Null using Jethro’s chest as a pillow. They were a bit nostalgic now, telling stories about their respective childhoods. The room felt soft and hazy as they enjoyed their time together. Santi sighed wistfully before saying, “You know what I miss most about Phlitam? The fuckin’ pumpkins.” 

Null laughed, a deep sort of laugh. “You can’t be serious. Pumpkins? Here?” 

“Don’t laugh! Farmer Junito managed to grow them somehow in the hills. You can make so much outta those little things.” Santi sighed again. “I would give anything to taste them again.” 

For a moment they were all silent, spending a moment thinking about pumpkins, childhood, and what they all left behind before finding each other. With a start, Santi sat up, a twinkle in his eye. A very, very, mischievous looking twinkle. 

“Let’s go!” He said, now pacing the room. “It’s an easy trip on horseback, we could be back before nightfall, I could distract him while you two go around back, we can easily carry them back, and no one would be the wiser!” 

Nudging Null’s head off of him, Jethro sat up, “You mind saying that all again? Slower? And so you make a smidge more sense?” 

Pulling on his uniform, Santi paused for a moment to think. “We go to the farm, and while I distract Junito with you know, all of that reminiscing stuff, you and Null sneak into his fields and steal a few pumpkins.” 

“Couldn’t we just ask him for some pumpkins?” Jethro wasn’t exactly used to being the voice of reason, but the role needed to be filled by someone. “I’m sure he’ll just give them to us if we just tell him you miss em.“ 

“No, I’m with Santi. For once.” Null interrupted, standing up to get his boots. “This sounds way more fun than asking for them. If we get caught-“ 

“-Which we won’t,” Santi interjected. 

“If we get caught,” Null carried on, “We can just explain it’s for…official business. We’re conducting a thorough inspection of the property in question.” 

Groaning, Jethro flopped back onto their bed. “This is a bad plan,” He protested. “It’s a very bad plan.” 

“Yes, well, we’re a little bit drunk and a lot bit part of the only means of authority around here, so there’s no consequences besides me getting to enjoy some sweet, sweet, pumpkin soup.” Santi tossed Jethro’s uniform at him. “Come on, live a little.” 

Reluctantly, Jethro agreed to the pumpkin plot, setting it properly into motion. The trio got dressed again in their official uniforms and slipped away to get their horses. Mischief was ensuing. 

The ride there was an easy one, with little to no interaction with other travellers. Santi rode one horse, a little ways ahead of Jethro and Null. They hoped to be as covert as possible, to avoid any possibility of detection. Before long, they arrived at the outskirts of Santi’s hometown, Phlitam, at good old Farmer Junito’s farm. As per the plan, Santi rode up to the front door and got invited in by Junito. At the same time, Null and Jethro were sneaking their way into the fields. Or well, they were trying to.

“What do you mean, you can’t climb a fence?” Jethro hissed, straddling the top of the wooden fence that guarded the fields. 

“I mean, I can’t climb a fence! I’m not a mountain goat like you, clearly.” Null crossed his arms, kicking at the dirt a little. “I can stand guard, you can just go in alone.” 

With a thump, Jethro landed on beside Null. “Not a chance I’m going in there by myself. C’mon, I can give you a boost.” Pulling off his gloves, Jethro crouched, linking his hands together, giving Null a step up. After a moment of hesitation Null stepped up, and with Jethro’s help, managed to launch himself up and over the fence. 

“Are you okay?” Jethro asked, nimbly hopping over the fence. “Hit the ground a little hard.” 

“I’ll live,” Null winced as he tried, and failed, standing up. “I’ve been worse.” He took Jethro’s offered hand, and to Jethro’s surprise, he didn’t let go right away. They headed into the maze of plants and crops, still holding hands. Twilight was settling in now, making it difficult to even find the pumpkin patch. Jethro finally patted something that felt vaguely like a pumpkin, and so they got to work. 

“Good thing these are tiny,” Jethro whispered, cutting four of the pumpkins off the vine. “They’re kind of cute, huh?” Null didn’t bother replying, he just held the bag open. 

After making sure they left as little evidence as possible, they left the fields, making a break for the fence. Jethro got Null up first and then took the bag of pumpkins himself. As per the plan, they led their horse into a small clearing that Santi remembered, to wait. Luckily, they didn’t have to wait as long as expected. 

“Miss me?” Santi half asked half whispered, holding a lantern. “We better get going, he’s going to do his night rounds soon.” 

They set off for home, Santi looking wistfully behind him, as the farm got smaller and smaller. When they were a good enough distance away, they slowed down a bit. “Can I see one?” Santi asked, nodding at the bag. “I want to make sure you actually got pumpkins, not carrots.” 

With a trademark eye roll, Null pulled one of the pumpkins out of the sack. Sure enough, it was a small orange pumpkin, just about ripe. “That enough proof for you?” 

“It’ll suffice,” Santi said with a smile. “I honestly can’t believe that worked.” 

“You and me both,” Jethro groaned. “I’ve had enough late night excursions for a lifetime. Let’s just take it easy next week, okay? No stealing cats or babies or anything?” 

“Hmm, I don’t know, I always liked cats. We could manage that, I think. There’s always some strays around, and we could manage to feed it somehow-“ 

“ _Santi._ ” 

“Okay, no to the cat. How about a chicken?” 

“How is that any better?” 

“…Could give us eggs.” 

“ _Santi._ ” 

Their argument carried on for the rest of the journey, when they returned the horses to the stable, all the way up to their room. It was there where they confirmed the complete results of their journey, after making sure the door was closed, of course. It was a good haul, considering the extraction was done with a dull blade and in the midst of night.   
“Hefty,” Santi commented, balancing one pumpkin in each hand. “I can make some good stuff out of these.” After putting them in their food chest, making sure no pests were going to get in, he joined his two partners on their small balcony. 

Closing his eyes, Santi let out a small sigh. Just talking to farmer Junito made him realize how much he missed home. He stopped getting letters from his family a while ago…mostly because he stopped replying to the few he received. That was back when he, Jethro, and Null were first exploring their relationship, and when they got some of their first major missions. Time was limited, and keeping up with old friends and family from home wasn’t his top priority. Sure, he had what he considered his new family now, with a new lifestyle and home, but on nights like these, he regretted his choices greatly. 

He gripped the railing tightly, to try and stop his hands from shaking. One was clasped by a slightly callused hand, the other by a smooth one. Opening his eyes, Santi realized his partners were holding his hands, as they stared out into the night. No words were said this time, but Santi felt an awful lot like how Jethro felt last night. 

Protected. Warm. Safe. Loved.


	3. The Conclusion

Null hated inconveniences of all forms and they were the worst when they affected his team. He also wasn’t fond of lying as a general rule but there always was an exception to this rule. If lies could prevent an inconvenience, then it was a perfectly acceptable and the most logical course of action. 

When he, Jethro, and Santi settled in for the night, on the evening of the pumpkin heist, Null realized something was a bit wrong. He simply turned his torso to look over his shoulder when a sharp pain shot up from his ribcage. Gasping, Null clutched at the source of pain on reflex, which made it all that worse. Grimacing from the stabbing pain that coursed through him, Null carefully pulled his shirt up. On his ribcage, he noticed a place of redness and swelling. He looked at it, confused before he remembered something. 

Earlier that night, when Jethro tossed him over the fence, Null landed harder than he expected. Most of the impact was absorbed in his right side…almost exactly where this injury was placed. He sighed, causing even more pain. This was going to be rough. As Jethro and Santi drifted off to sleep, Null stared at the ceiling, trying to think through the pain seeping through him. 

He didn’t know much about medical science, so he couldn’t even guess what was wrong, yet alone how to fix it. Surely it couldn’t take that long to heal, right? No need to worry the team for nothing. It was just a hard fall, nothing to it. A couple of days, and it’ll blow over, and no one else would have to know. With this comforting thought, Null could feel himself drift to sleep, hoping it would be better in the morning. 

It was not. It wasn’t better the next morning, or the morning after that either. Two weeks later, the injury wasn’t healed but it also wasn’t getting any worse. Still, Null was getting tired of refusing cuddles, or not laughing when he wanted to, because of the pain it caused him. His training scores took a heavy dip because of it, his partners were no doubt feeling the impact of him distancing himself from them, and everything seemed like it was going downhill. 

“Mission day,” Jethro said to the group as they ate breakfast. “Some sort of ruckus going on in the lower village.” 

“Another protest?” Null shifted his weight, trying to get into a comfortable sitting position. “That makes it the fifth one this month.” 

Santi swallowed before shrugging, “The political system is notably flawed. There’s nothing else they can do.” 

After a shared moment of thinking about said flaws within said political system, they got ready to go out. Null slipped off his undershirt without thinking and therefore revealed the injury, which not only was still swollen it had an extremely dark bruise. For the past two weeks he managed to hide it, but, the cat was out of the bag. 

“What is that?” Santi exclaimed, in the middle of pulling on his jacket. “Did you get mauled by a bear when we weren’t looking?” 

“Ah,” Null stalled for time as he studied the wound. “I just…bumped into a tree the other day. Hard. Nasty bruise, but it doesn’t really hurt.” 

Jethro, to test Null’s claim, gently pressed against the bruise. “Are you sure you’re okay?” He said doubtfully, moving his touch throughout the sore area. Null had to bit the inside of his cheek to stop crying out. 

“Yes,” He croaked. “It’s fine, I’m fine.” 

“You sure? That looks mighty bad,” Jethro glanced to Santi, who gave a shrug. “Sure you don’t wanna go to the infirmary? Have this checked out?” 

Santi nodded in agreement, as he tied his tie. “You should probably sit this mission out, it’s bound to be a rowdy one. We don’t want you to get any more roughed up.” 

Slapping Jethro’s hand away, Santi could feel his cheeks heat up. “Shut up,” He snapped, turning away to pull on his shirt. “I’m fine, everything’s okay, so back off already.” He closed his eyes as he finished getting dressed. His words were harsh, he knew that, but they were necessary. Causing a little pain to save them from a lot of it was the right thing to do. 

Although the atmosphere was a little tenser than usual, they still went about their business. Things did get awkward when they realized the stables only had two horses available for them. Collectively, in silence, they decided that Null would ride along, with Jethro and Santi on the other.

Putting his hands on Jethro’s waist, Santi gave a playful little squeeze, causing his partner to yelp. Null listened to their laughter and felt a pang of something. Not pain, like he was now used to, but some sort of emotion. Regret, maybe, or pining. He wanted to join in with a quip, to laugh with them like he used to. But he couldn’t. There would be more than one type of pain if he did that.

They got to their mission site a little later than planned, but the protest was indeed raging. With a sigh, Null dismounted, as did his partners. Crowd control was a necessary task, sure, but it was one big pain in the ass. The worst part was realizing that these people had a right to protest, a right that he had to deny. If his life had gone in a different direction, he might have been one of them. Desperately hoping for change, willing to break the law for it. 

Things were going smoothly, as smooth as it could go anyway. Most of the crowd dispersed when faced with the choice between that or prison, but there were some stragglers. “Sir,” Null said, trying to sound patient. “Please, I don’t want to have to use force. Just go back home and don’t break the law.” 

“Oh, I’m past breaking the law,” After spitting on the ground, the man pushed up his sleeves. “I think I’ll break your neck instead.” 

If Null was at his full strength he could have been alert, he could have defended himself, he could have stopped being tackled to the ground. But he couldn’t. Hitting the ground, Null hit his head on a rock. This could have been already dangerous, given his present state, but then it just got worse. “You’re a law pig,” The man sneered, before punching Null right in his injury, driving a knee into his stomach. 

As he was fighting just to keep himself from blacking out, struggling to keep his eyes open, Null could see Jethro land a solid punch on the jaw of his attacker. As they tussled, Santi gently picked up Null’s limp body.

Null buried his aching head in Santi’s warm chest, feeling himself drift away. The last thing he could remember was holding onto Santi as they rode away, and hearing Jethro’s fight. After that, the next thing he knew, he was awake, in an infirmary bed. 

“About time,” The doctor, nicknamed Bloody Bryce, or just Bryce, said from across the room. “Thought you weren’t going to wake up there.” 

Groaning from the effort, Null managed to sit up. “Where...where’s my team?” He asked, looking around. The room was empty, save him and Bryce. “Are they safe?” He asked, anxiously this time. “Nothing happened did it?” 

“Calm down,” Bryce said, coming over with a piece of paper. “They had to go cover someone’s shift but they did leave this and told me to read it to you; Dear Null, it’s Jethro and Santi. We’re okay, all is well with us. We’ll be there to visit as soon as we can. Just remember, figs.” 

Bryce put the paper down on a nearby table, taking a seat on the foot of Null’s bed. “I have no idea what that last part meant, but whatever.” 

Ducking his head, Null smiled a little. A long time ago, back when they were first becoming a couple, they realized they all loved figs. As they were establishing their relationship, they decided to use figs as a code word for “We love you.” It was a useful thing to say in public situations, although it was sometimes difficult to work into some sort of context. Null was glad for some sort of comfort…considering he knew what plan of action he had to follow. 

“So,” Bryce flipped through his medical forms. “You really fucked up your body, by the way, this is just very bad. And that’s putting it lightly. Did you know you had a possible cracked rib or is this something new?” 

“Well…” Null hesitated, feeling Bryce’s cold gaze on him. He was tired of lying. “This is confidential, right?” 

“Yes. Just, for the love of whatever, tell me what’s _wrong_ so I can do my best to _fix_ it.” 

Null told the story, only fudging the bit about the actual thievery. “When we got back, I noticed this,” Null gestured to his torso. “I thought it would fix itself, but, it’s been two weeks. And then I guess I got beat up.” 

“Damn right you got beat up,” Bryce rubbed his temples. “All of you Dandy Lions are dumbasses I swear. Look, your body is really messed up and you just made it worse by waiting this long while also doing your regular work. I’m pretty damn sure you injured your rib and with what happened today, you could have made the damage even worse.” 

Shifting from his business voice to a lower one, Bryce looked at Null closely. “I’m not sure,” He said slowly, “But I think you have some issues about your strength within your team. I can help-“ 

“You can help by telling me how I can get better,” Null narrowed his eyes. “Just do your job.” 

After a moment, Bryce stood. “Yes…sir,” Null was surprised to hear that before he remembered that technically, he was above Bryce on the chain of command. 

“You should stay here for a couple weeks. Three at least, five at the most. Your ribs should heal by then, and you can go back to regular service. In a week I’ll work with you with some physical therapy to help along the healing process. Do you have any questions?” At this point, Bryce was at the door to his personal apartments, and he looked over at Null. 

“One request,” Null said, not looking at Bryce. “I don’t want any visitors. Tell Jethro and Santi I need some time to myself.” 

“Understood, sir.” 

Null stared at the ceiling for a while after that, just listening to his breathing. He knew that he should have taken Bryce’s advice, considering the guy was right. He knew he should talk about his issues with his partners. He knew a lot of things. Just like how he knew he couldn’t do it. He couldn’t talk about it, about anything relating to his fears, his weaknesses and every other flaw he had. He just couldn’t make himself say the words to anyone, not even himself. 

For the next two weeks, Null refused any visits. Everyone he knew tried at least once to talk to him, even fucking Georgio. Jethro and Santi were the only repeating visitors, everyone else gave up by the second time. But those two tried daily. Every single day they would ask Bryce, who would ask Null, who would deny the request. 

He was healing well, according to Bryce, although it still hurt to no end when he did his exercises. Every day he grew stronger, which meant he was closer to be dismissed and cleared for active service. Which meant he was getting closer to having to confront Jethro and Santi. He comforted himself by hoping that they would understand, that things could work themselves out, without him having to disclose anything too personal. 

This small hope burnt out soon. When Jethro and Santi stopped trying to visit. 

“Are you sure?” Santi said as he and Jethro walked to their room. It was after dinner, the time where they usually tried to talk with Null. “You don’t want to even try?” 

“We’ve been trying. I think it’s time we get the message.” Jethro swallowed hard as he pushed open their room’s door. “He doesn’t want to be with us nomore.”

Santi nodded and stayed quiet until Jethro blew out the lantern and slid under the covers. Then he reached out, clinging to Jethro for a cuddle. “Santi,” Jethro said in a whisper. “What’s wrong?” 

“I…I miss him. More every night he’s not here. What did we do, Jet, what did you do to him? Or, or maybe it’s what I didn’t do. I should have said that I loved him more, I should have shown that I cared. Maybe then, maybe then he wouldn’t be like this,” Santi’s voice cracked then, and his voice trailed off. 

Silence filled the room for a while before the noise of soft sniffles did. Detaching himself from Santi’s grasp, Jethro flipped over so he faced his partner. “Don’t cry,” He pleaded, his voice becoming tight. “You’re going to make me start…aw, shoot.” 

Under both the cover of darkness and of their bed, Jethro and Santi clung onto each other, chests heaving from their tears. They couldn’t talk for a while, but they just held each other, both of them saddled with the feeling of an empty hole in their hearts. Nothing was the same without Null. The bed never seemed to be so big, or so cold. Finally, their tears seemed to cease, and they sat up to talk.

“Alright,” Santi wiped his eyes. “We need to do something. We need to get through to Null. There’s the chance we could pull rank and get in there, but I doubt Null would let us talk to him. We’re too personal.” 

Jethro nodded before realizing it was too dark for that to be seen. “Yeah. He would rather jump into a river of flesh biters than talk to us right now.”

“So, who do we know that’s not only stubborn but also even higher up than we are?” 

“And they have to know Null, but not too much to be considered personally attached.” 

They took a moment to ponder their options before they came to the same realization. “Toth!” They both shouted, delighted to think of someone that fit the criteria they put in place. 

“Yeah,” Shouted a voice from the next room over. “She’s hot, we know, so shut up already!”

Jethro and Santi both dove for their pillows to try and stifle their giggles. “He couldn’t be more wrong,” Santi gasped, making sure to whisper. After they collapsed into another giggle fit, due to their frayed nerves, they got back to their cuddling. 

“Toth’s the perfect person for this,” Jethro whispered. “She’s even part of the Y'dala, just like Null…do you think it’s a culture thing? Something we don’t know about?” 

Santi thought about it, before he answered, “It could be, yes. He hasn’t told us all that much about it. She’s the only possible person that could do this, isn’t she? It has to work, it just has-“ 

To cut off his lover’s worries, Jethro leaned forward, and kissed him. They haven’t kissed in the past weeks, due to Null’s absence. He missed it, he missed how Santi tastes like mint, and he misses Null’s sweet taste of cinnamon. When they broke apart, Santi nuzzled in for a tighter hug. “Thank you.” He said, whispering into Jethro’s ear. With this, they held each other for a moment or so, before they got some sleep. 

In the morning, they put their plan into action, which was easier than either of them expected. Toth readily agreed to their plan and said she would go whenever she found a spare moment. They thanked her and tried to go about their day without worrying too much. 

Null, on the other side of things, just finished his morning workout, and was slipping into bed, when Toth came. “I’ve told you,” Bryce sighed. “Technically I have to defer to the patient’s wishes, no matter _how_ highly ranked you are.” 

“I’m sure you have a very demanding job,” Toth said, firmly placing her hands on Bryce’s shoulders. “Why don’t you take a break. Half hour. Take a walk, get some breakfast.”  
“But what if there are new patients?” Bryce protested as he was being shoved out the door. “Do you even have any semblance of medical training?” 

“Of course I do, have a lovely break.” After shoving him out the door, Toth firmly shut it. “I do not have any medical training, so I better make this quick. Null, what are you trying to do?” 

Null pushed him up to properly have a conversation. “I’m trying to figure out the best way to get you, and everyone else, to leave me alone already. I am _fine_.”

“That’s funny, Santi and Jethro sure don’t think you are.” Sitting on the nearest bed beside Null, Toth stared at him. “I know what you’re doing.” 

“Oh, really?” 

“Damn right, really, because I did the exact same thing. I made the exact same mistakes you’re making.” Restless, she stood and began to pace the small room. “I…we, feel the need to shield ourselves, our flaws, to protect the ones we love. The people we care about most in the world.” 

“Maybe it’s our personalities, maybe it’s because we’re Y'dalan, I’m not sure,” Toth stopped pacing to look at Null directly. “But I do know that it will hurt. Not just you, but the very same people who you would do anything to protect.” 

Null was silent, but something inside agreed with Toth. She was bringing up what he already knew, but from another perspective, it sounded different. “What can I do?” He asked, finally acknowledging what he was doing. He was blocking himself and he was doing it to protect Santi and Jethro. He knew it all along, even before the fateful pumpkin heist. 

“You have to talk about it,” Toth said simply. “Communication is part of every relationship, not just romantic ones. And it would go doubly so in your case. I can get them to visit you if you promise you can suck it up and talk to them. _Properly_.” 

When Null nodded, Toth did as well. And, because they had the time, and the privacy, they talked about their respective lovers. Their quirks, their talents, just everything others could talk about with their friends freely. They talked until the time was noted to be an issue. “Well,” Toth stood, dusting off her pants. “I wish it didn’t have to be under this situation, but it was a pleasure talking with you.” 

“Wait,” Null called, as Toth was about to step through the door. “…I have to thank you.” 

“You’re welcome,” Toth said with a rare smile. “I’ll find the others when I am able.” 

The door slid closed behind her, and Null sank into his bed sheets with a groan. Now, although he addressed one problem, he had to resolve it. Which meant figuring out exactly how to talk with the two men he ignored for pretty much a month, and how to hopefully get them to forgive him. As he mulled over the options, he could feel his body go heavy, and he slowly drifted off to sleep. He only awoke when he felt someone shake his shoulder. Jolting awake, with a gasp, Null winced at the pain. 

Bryce pressed Null down back into his pillows. “It’s alright,” He said, smoothing out a wrinkle in the blanket. “I just wanted to get you awake before your team comes in.” 

“They’re here? Already? So soon?” Null was starting to panic, as the cloud of sleep seeped out of his thoughts. He glanced out the window and realized he must have slept for hours, given that it was now obviously dark outside. “Any chance you can stall for me?” 

With a comforting pat on the shoulder, Bryce smiled. “With all due respect, sir, I’ve been doing that for you for weeks now. Get your head out of your ass, and talk to them. It’s been long enough.” 

As Null looked up at him, a little surprised, a little impressed, Bryce sighed. “I don’t get enough credit for this job. You’re all nightmares. I’m pouring myself the stiffest drink I can handle. Have fun, keep it relatively quiet, and don’t murder them.” 

Before Null could make any form of protest, Bryce opened the main door to the infirmary before escaping to his apartments. Jethro and Santi spilt into the room, immediately going to Null’s bedside. Null wanted to speak but didn’t have to the chance, not before Santi kissed him. A good kiss, yes, but also an incredibly unexpected one. As soon as they broke apart, Jethro dove in for his turn. 

After the kisses were done, Santi and Jethro sat on each side of the bed; Santi holding Null’s hand, Jethro combing Null’s hair. “What are you doing?” Null asked, genuinely confused. “Aren’t you mad at me?” 

“Oh, we are very upset with you,” Santi said, sweetly patting his boyfriend’s hand. “But we are also happy you’re alright, and we think we can work through this.” 

Jethro finished with the comb, so he put it down on the nearby table before starting to braid Null’s hair. “We haven’t even heard the full story,” He said while plaiting, careful not to tug. “How did you get into this mess?” 

As Null told the whole story again, he found himself breathing easier with just word, each time Jethro’s fingers brushed against his neck, each time Santi squeezed his hand. “And, I just needed time to myself after that,” Null said, looking down at his lap. “I had to come to some conclusions on my own.” 

Swallowing hard, he looked first at Jethro, and then at Santi. “I love you both. I would do anything to protect you and in this case, I had to hurt you to do it. I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you this before, but you don’t know how much I would hate myself if I were the reason either of you got hurt.” 

Jethro tied off the braid with a spare piece of leather, before picking up Null’s other hand. “I didn’t tell you this but,” He cleared his throat. “If that guy beat up me any harder than he did, if I was a bit weaker, if he was a bit stronger, well, I might not have been able to walk away from it.” 

Feeling his heart drop, Null turned to stare at his partner. His lovable, dorky, naïve mess of a partner. “What?” He exclaimed, causing his injuries to protest. Wincing, he tried to calm himself. “Why didn’t you tell me in your note? Why weren’t you admitted to the infirmary like I was?” 

“The injuries were plain ol surface wounds. Black eyes, scraped up skin, the works.” Jethro said, shrugging with a slight smile. “I’ve handled worse before. Hurt like hell, sure, but I didn’t want to be a bother to you.” 

Grasping Null’s hand with both his hands, Jethro looked his partner in the eye. “I got hurt because of you. If you told us about your injury before, we probably wouldn’t have even gone on that assignment. You thought I should have told you ‘bout my injuries, but you didn’t trust us enough to tell us ‘bout yours.” 

“Jethro’s right. We can’t afford to keep secrets like that from each other,” It was Santi’s turn now to look at Null directly. “You could have died out there, Jethro could have died, if things were different, _I_ might have died.” 

Null felt choked by his own emotions; his words were caught between his brain and his throat. All he could do was fill his eyes with the tears he held back from crying for far too long. They pooled and soon overflowed out, dripping down his face. His hiccupping sobs were the only noise in the still infirmary. His partners could only handle listening to it for so long, before they desperately, but carefully, clung to him. 

“It’s okay,” Santi whispered to both his partners. “We can work through this, we can be okay.”

“I know we can,” Jethro replied, stroking Null’s soft hair. “I know we can.” 

Unable to say anything throughout his tears, Null nodded. He wanted nothing more than to be able to love his partners in public, he wanted to their defender, he wanted to be the strongest he could be, he wanted to be cool and aloof and everything he thought he needed to be. 

But right now he just needed to be himself.


End file.
